A Parent’s Guide to Comforting Kids When News Is Frightening: Age-Appropriate Tips For Parents

In an age when information is readily accessible, children are often exposed to distressing news, from natural disasters to political unrest and everything in between. As a parent, you might wonder how to help your child process these often-overwhelming and tragic events. Experts like Stanford Medicine Children’s Health pediatric and adolescent psychologist Elizabeth Reichert, PhD, co-director of the Stanford Parenting Center, suggest that having these conversations is crucial. Creating an open dialogue allows children to feel supported and helps them process their emotions.

Tailoring conversations to your child’s age and temperament

Dr. Reichert stresses the importance of considering your child’s age and personality when starting the conversation. For younger children under 5, simple language and minimal detail are key. “Using visuals, like maps or pictures, can help explain complex issues without overwhelming them. And for older children and teens, creating an open dialogue is essential because they are likely already aware of the news on some level.”

Starting with questions like, “There’s been a lot in the news about wildfires; what have you heard?” can help initiate the conversation. Follow up with, “How do you feel about that?” or “Do you have any questions about what you’ve heard?” to explore deeper into their emotions and thoughts.

Checking in and managing anxiety

Experts say it is essential to check in with your kids regularly: Create space for five minutes of one-on-one time when you can give your full attention without distractions (e.g., from work, devices, household chores).

When your child expresses their feelings, it’s important to validate their emotions. “Validation means listening and showing understanding; for instance, you could say, “I understand how that sounds scary to you.” Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with your child’s feelings or actions; rather, it demonstrates a deep understanding and helps children feel more supported and comfortable expressing themselves,” said Dr. Reichert.

Managing your own stress level and anxiety in front of the children is also essential. It’s important for parents to manage their anxiety and model healthy behaviors, such as balanced media consumption. Engaging in family coping strategies, like going for a walk or being in nature, can be an excellent way to help manage anxiety and redirect one’s focus. Dr. Reichert advises against doom-scrolling and suggests that maintaining a healthy level of awareness is best.

Recognizing signs of distress

Look out for changes in behavior, such as difficulty sleeping, increased clinginess, changes in appetite, or a lack of interest in activities they usually enjoy. Reducing exposure to distressing news, whether it’s on TV or social media, can be beneficial. And be mindful of adult conversations that children might overhear that could add to their stress.

Dr. Reichert highlights the importance of proactively talking to your children about challenging news and advises that discussing emotions can help alleviate anxiety in both the child and the adult. “These conversations also provide an opportunity to correct misinformation and teach compassion. Asking questions like, ‘What do you think it feels like for people in this situation?’ can encourage empathy and consideration.”

Managing digital media exposure

According to experts from Stanford Medicine Children’s Health and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, managing what children see on their screens and how much is critical. Here are some tips:

• Select programs: Always preselect programs that are age-appropriate.
• Limit screen time: For children over 2, limit screen time to one to two hours per day. Under 2 years, it’s best to avoid digital media altogether.
• Educational content: Prioritize educational shows from trusted sources.  
• Co-view and discuss: Watch programs with your child and discuss the content, explaining the differences between reality and fiction.
• Set an example: Limit your own screen time, and engage in activities like reading and playing.
• Encourage physical activity: Plan fun activities to give children alternatives to screen time.
• Avoid using screen time as a reward: Use other rewards, such as family outings, instead of increasing screen time.

By considering these tips, parents can help their children navigate today’s media landscape and the emotions that come with sensitive news. Open communication and mindful media use can foster resilience and understanding, contributing to a healthier lifestyle. For more guidance and to ensure the best outcomes for your child’s well-being, seek advice from your child’s primary care physician, or visit Stanford Medicine Children’s Health for additional resources.