As we embrace the warmth and freedom of summertime, it’s an ideal opportunity to reflect on the importance of bonding and spending quality time with our children. Beyond the joy of vacations and leisure, these moments together play a pivotal role in nurturing mental and physical health for both your child’s and your own well-being.
Mari Kurahashi, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist and co-director of the Stanford Parenting Center, shares some tips to help foster healthy growth through shared experiences. She explains how bonding and creating positive experiences with our kids can act as a buffer against stress and anxiety, which is a crucial skill in today’s fast-paced world.
Encouraging positive summer activities
- What are some key activities or experiences that are both enjoyable and developmentally beneficial for children?
On a physical level, summer offers ample opportunities for outdoor activities that promote health and well-being. Whether it’s swimming, biking, playing sports, or cooking together, these activities not only keep children active and fit, but also instill lifelong habits of physical exercise and healthy living. Sunshine and fresh air are also essential for their overall vitality and mood.
So, whether you’re going on a day trip, walking outside, playing board games, or simply watching a show together, it’s that family time spent together that will strengthen the connection and the relationship that help create lasting memories. Parenting can have bumps in the road, so the stronger these relationships are now, the more it will help support both children and parents through these ups and downs.
- What are ways to connect and bond with your child, and how does it contribute to their overall well-being?
Quality time spent together promotes children’s cognitive and social development. Engaging in conversations, exploring new places or activities together, stimulates the child’s curiosity and creativity, and summertime is one of the best times of the year to do it. It’s an opportunity for both parents and children to recharge, discover, and explore new interests, which we don’t have as many chances for during the school year.
One way to begin is by asking your child or teen what they are interested in. If you know what their natural strengths are, separate them from what you want them to be interested in or what their siblings are into. See if there are fun ways to strengthen their interest areas, in a lighter way. For example, if they’re not an athlete but like to be active, maybe there’s a physical camp that’s not as intense they can try out for a week, or if they are artistically inclined, help foster that creative side in them.
Balancing structure and freedom
- How important is it for children to have a balance between structured activities and free time during the summer?
Having structure is important, even during the summer break, because it helps with basic physical and mental health needs, such as making sure our kids are getting enough rest and getting their meals on time. At the same time, having some free time helps foster their imagination, their self-discovery, and provides a sense of autonomy by developing their own problem-solving skills and not having an adult immediately jump in.
As a parent, if you feel overwhelmed, take a step back and think, “Is all this necessary—are there things we can let go?” That way, you and your child are not feeling all that business and rush you may feel during the school year.
Social engagement and peer relationships
- How can parents help their child maintain and develop social connections, and work through conflicts with others?
It starts with modeling. How are you, the parent, connecting with others, especially during times of unease and conflict? When it comes to guiding your child through developing social connections and navigating conflicts, modeling good behavior is incredibly important. Your actions and reactions in social settings teach your child how to interact with others. If you demonstrate effective communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution skills, your child will learn to do the same.
Building empathy by modeling good behavior helps children understand the feelings and perspectives of others. When you show kindness, understanding, and compassion in your interactions, your child learns to consider others’ emotions and points of view, which is crucial for developing healthy relationships.
It’s important for parents to organize play dates and have that social time for their kids, whether it’s at a park or at home. This will open opportunities for you to talk about social skills and practice them, especially if it’s difficult for your child at home. If you do have a socially anxious, shy child, keep in mind the balance of wanting to expose them to social interactions to strengthen their own ability and comfort level, without overwhelming them. Consider the duration and how many people are around; ease into it.
If you have an anxious teenager, gently expose them to these situations, so they can gradually increase their tolerance and discomfort. It will help them grow without overwhelming them or making them feel judged about their challenges. These interactions not only strengthen their problem-solving skills but also enhance their ability to communicate and empathize with others—a vital aspect of their emotional intelligence.
More resources
To learn more about ways to spend quality time with your kids this summer, along with the health benefits of it, check out the Stanford Medicine Children’s Health Instagram Q&A where Dr. Kurahashi also discusses the following:
- Disconnecting from screens: Learn why it’s vital for your child’s mental well-being and practical tips to make it happen.
- Signs your child may be struggling: Discover key indicators and how to support your child through challenges they might be facing.
- How to handle conflict constructively: Skills to help kids resolve conflicts in their own interactions.
- Easing the back-to-school transition: Actionable steps to help your child smoothly transition from summer break to school routines.
